Monday, January 30, 2012

Mental WOD 26: I Dare YOU to Fail

I made sure NOT to measure until I got it...

I was having a conversation with some of my clients during one of our coaching calls this weekend about goals. It can be hard to set 'REAL' goals for ourselves. Then I came across this blog post to help understand how to raise the bar on goal setting...

I once heard a math teacher announce an unusual dream at a school assembly: “I hope you all fail,” he said to an audience of high school seniors eager to go out and conquer the world. “Because if you don’t, you haven’t set your goals high enough.”
Betting by without setting goals is the ultimate way to shortchange your life. It’s not a way to failure. It’s the definition of nonstarting.
Evangelist Robert H. Schuller describes four kinds of people:
  • First come the cop-outs. These people set no goals and make no decisions.
  • Second are the hold-outs. They have a beautiful dream, but uncertainty makes them afraid to respond to its challenge.
  • The dropouts are third. They start to make their dream come true. but when the going gets tough, they quit.
  • Finally, there are the all-outs. These brave souls know where they’re headed and do what it takes to get there.
It all starts with goals: Winners make goals. Losers make excuses.

I also read that you should hit about 50% of your goals. If you reaching over 50% then your goals are too easy. If you accomplish less than 50% of your goals then they are unrealistic.

Did you know it doesn't matter if you set a BIG goal or you set a small goal it takes EXACTLY the same amount of energy to accomplish both?

A mystery 'secret' of goal setting is you will only see, experience and get what you look for. Whether you think you can reach your goal or can' are RIGHT! So why not believe and go for what you REALLY want to achieve vs. watering down your goals and letting yourself off the hook. Your mindset should ONLY be about going for it, not worrying about not hitting it. You can not predict the future. You can only guarantee what you think about, the decisions you make, and the actions you do.

This week's Mental WOD is:

Re -do your goals and Set your REAL goals.
Have a REAL plan.
Stick to it!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Solution and the Problem are the Same Thing...

Have you ever heard of the person that won the lottery and ended up losing all of their fortune in the next couple of years?

How about the person that goes on a diet, loses 60 lbs and ends up gaining all the weight back?

Or the person that has been divorced multiple times?

We are coming up to the end of January where this is just about the time all those people that made the resolutions will end up packing it in and stopping what they set out to do.

Are you that person? Have you made goals in the past that you have not accomplished?

Until recently, I haven't fully understood the reason why we fail at completing our goals. I thought it was poor planning, lack of discipline, letting the nay-sayers convince us otherwise, etc... Then I read a quote that opened my eyes to the truth.

"If you want have more... you have to become more. Success is NOT a doing process, it is a BECOMING process. What you do, what you pursue, will elude you -- it can be like chasing butterflies. Success is something you attract by the person you become." -- Jim Rohn

I have always thought otherwise. Searching for ways to improve, ways to do more, get better. I believed, like most people, that to get better, I need to figure out what I needed to do better.

There is no secret what to do to get better and how to get it done. With all of the information out there we can find out exactly how to lose that weight, exactly what it takes to make a million dollars, exactly how to improve any aspect of our lives. So why aren't we all ripped, happy, made of money and successful beyond our wildest dreams??

I see people all the time that say, "I want to lose weight", "I want to get healthy", so they join a gym (or a CROSSFIT) or go on a DIET, and in the beginning they are doing great! Showing up for classes, eating healthy, losing weight, feeling better but then something familiar happens. They begin the good ol' self sabotage...

So instead of coming 3x days a week, now it's 2.
Then they get busy at work so they skip a week.
The results aren't coming like they used too in the beginning so now they are less motivated then when they initially started.

So you let yourself off the hook...Once again!

And all of a sudden you look in the mirror and its 6 weeks, 6 months, HELL 6 years have gone by and you are stuck with the same problems...Once again!

Because instead of focusing on how to do it, we need to focus on who we need to BE to do it. By constantly working on improving 'it' (your goal), 'it' will continue to elude you. The reason why is because you will let all the things that have always stopped you continue to get in the way of you. Until you figure out that you must begin to work on YOU, 'it' will naturally rise to the level of the new you.

Your self identity works like a thermostat. Just like a thermostat in your room has a set point, you have your internal set point as well. Your current set point is based on exactly who you are today. Your set point is based on your past experiences and what you think and believe about yourself. No matter what temperature fluctuations occur, your internal thermostat will bring the room back to the set point. If its too hot, the air conditioning will kick on to cool it back down. The temperature drops below the set point, the heater will kick on to warm the room back up.

There is no difference in our own lives. Our self worth is our set point. If you view yourself as a low worth person, you have a low set point. If you value yourself highly, your set point is HIGH. What you achieve out of life will never be greater than what your set point is.

So how do you raise you set point?

A Part II of this post will be coming at you to explain how and why. But in the meantime here is a HINT...

Monday, January 23, 2012

Mental WOD 25: You Lack It...You Give It...You Get It

Giving it to those kb's:)

I am very grateful that everyday I get to do what I love. I am very passionate about helping people, growing as a coach (and a person) and learning from others.

I recently came across a concept that has really opened my eyes about achieving our goals and how to conquer what stops us. It is very easy to get down on ourselves, especially when we are tired, hungry, didn't sleep very well. Or even bigger things, like when we have self doubt about reaching our goals or second guessing major decisions in life.

This week's Mental WOD is all about GIVING WHAT YOU WANT.

I once had an employee we’ll call Suze. During a review it was identified that she lacked the self-confidence necessary for her to adequately perform her job responsibilities. I could have told her all the positive attributes she had and what I admired about her to boost her self-esteem (I did that anyway), but I knew that wouldn’t work. Others had probably tried before. I knew she needed to give what she was lacking to someone else in order to experience the transformation.

I asked Suze whom she knew who also suffered from a lack of self-confidence. The only person she could think of was a girl who lived a few doors down from her (let’s call her “Mia”). I asked Suze to spend time with the girl and see if she could help her improve her self-esteem. After talking with Mia about her interests and how she spent her time, Suze learned the young girl played soccer, but was too timid to excel at it. Suze was a former all-state soccer player in school and committed herself to tutoring the girl in the sport a few evenings a week.

Suze not only spent time coaching Mia in soccer, but she also talked with her about other aspects of her life. As a result, the Mia’s soccer performance improved dramatically, and her self-esteem was significantly boosted because of the interest Suze showed in her life. Witnessing this transformation, Suze felt valued, important and saw the difference she could make in another person’s life. Her own self-esteem expanded in spectacular fashion. She became one of my most successful public relations agents and went on to many other successes.

I can remember numerous times when I have lacked specific things in my life for ex: self doubt, confidence, motivation, accountability and by giving those things to others has helped me get them in return.

It is so easy to get caught in our own head of negative thoughts that create self sabotage in our lives and hold us back to achieving our goals. The best way to get out of our own head is to give what we are lacking and we get it back even more.

We all have the answer to our problems. We just allow our problems to stop us. And when your problems have you convinced to give up or quit on something its time to give it up to someone that also needs help. We will uncover the true answers inside of us but getting out of our own head (literally) and helping others in need. It is a very powerful and empowering process.

Do you need more courage? Who can you encourage?
Do you need more strength? Who can you help strengthen?
Do you need more belief? Who can you believe in?
Do you need more confidence? Who can you instill confidence in?
Do you need more love? Who can you love?

You Lack It...You Give It...You Get It...


Monday, January 9, 2012

Mental WOD 24...What TIME Is It?!?!

Armen knows what TIME it is!

After the first 2 weeks that someone is a member at our CROSSFIT AFFILIATE they receive Nutrition Check In session. During this session I hear just about every excuse in the book on why they aren't where they want to be. Some people think they eat pretty healthy, some people know they don't, some think they have NO TIME to eat healthy, etc... So what we do before that session is ask that they write down everything they eat in a food log for a week. Just by making themselves aware of what they are putting in their mouth, it answers a lot of questions about why they are not in the kind of shape they would like to be in. What I have found is logging other parts of our lives works the same way.

For the longest time I have been a procrastinator with my time. I was the kid that waited all summer to do his book report and was pulling an all nighter with my mom yelling in my ear, "Why did you have to wait ALL SUMMER to start this?!?!".

Recently, I picked up a new book, Organizing for Success and the reason why I was attracted to reading it was because in the introduction the first thing that the author wrote was if you are going to get anything out of this book you must create and keep a time management log for one week. This resonated with me because now I was in a similar position that many of the clients I deal with were in with their nutrition, I am in with my time management. I have read the books, I have listened to the CD's I knew the answers but it never really sunk in, until I put myself out there and logged my time on paper.

After logging my time for a week. And PRE-PLANNING my day the night before. I have never felt in more control of my time and my days. It has been a very empowering habit. A big chunk of my day was filled with interruptions and distractions that would stop me from completed the goals and tasks I had set out to accomplish. Now I not only know what I want to accomplish in my day, I have a plan and schedule to make it happen. Distractions and interruptions will still be there, but with a plan and a schedule it is much easier to get right back on track and get everything done.

Your Mental WOD of this week is to keep a time management log of your day.

It is not as hard as it sounds. Simply PRE PLAN your next day in the evening or that morning of (most of us know what our day generally looks like anyway), have your log with you that day, and continually update it throughout the day and see how much more you get done not to mention how much more in control of your day you will feel.


Friday, January 6, 2012

Introducing Friday's Week-In-Review

Good Times and Great Tans in 2011...

2012 for me is all about capturing what I do and learn and build upon it. Last year we introduced a concept that I love and implement weekly called, Mental WODs for the Week. Intentions are a great start but intentions alone will get you NO WHERE! Life is all about the Law of Cause and Effect, whatever you do or don't do will result in what you get. Our minds are moving at a very fast pace, sometimes we come up with the greatest thought or the next million dollar idea that could change our lives, but do they? If you don't capture those thoughts they can be lost forever. And capturing thoughts alone will not necessarily lead to execution. Consistent review of what you do will help you now implement what your initial intentions were. So to help further our growth as an ELITE Human Being we are happy to announce, Friday's Week-In-Review.

The Week-In-Review series will guide and educate you on the how and why to capture YOUR THOUGHTS throughout the week by simply putting it into practice consistently. Most times the Week-In-Review will compliment that same Mental WOD of the week, but we are free to write about whatever is going on in our heads through out the week. You are HIGHLY encouraged to use the comments each week as a journal/sound off board.

Stay tuned in every Friday starting next week.

Cheers to your best year yet!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Mental WOD 23: 2012 Mantra...If It's To Be...It's Up to Me

We are ready...Are YOU?

Over the weekend I was listening to one of my favorite personal development authors, Darren Hardy. He was telling a story about a seminar he attended back when he was 18 years old. The seminar leader posed a question about a relationship concept that has stuck with him ever since.

The speaker at the seminar asked the question,

"What is the shared responsibility between 2 people to make a relationship work?"

Darren quickly raised his hand and said, "50/50! Both people must be willing to do their fair share to make the relationship work."

The speaker said, "No".

Another participant raised his hand and said, "51/49! Someone has to be willing to do a little more to make the relationship succeed."

The speaker said, "No", again.

One more participant said, "80/20".

No again...

But before we go on what would you say??

The speaker then proceeded to write on the whiteboard, "100/0".

Until you are willing to take 100% responsibility to make the relationship work, will it work?

If you ever are giving with the expectation of getting back, you are sabotaging it at every turn, it will never work.

Isn't that true of life in other circumstances??

We are at ALL times 100% responsible for what happens to us (good, bad or ugly).

Think about it. Every step you have taken, every thought you have thought, every decision you have made, every habit you have created has gotten you exactly where you are right now.

It may be hard to swallow. But I can tell you this, when you do believe this and/or buy into it you will free yourself from a lot of grief/guilt/frustration and begin to really start moving forward with what you want to make out of your life.

Now flip it around.

When things are going well in your life...its  YOUR FAULT! That is awesome! When you get back in shape, when you CONQUER your fears, when you reach your goals and dreams...HOLY COW ITS YOUR FAULT...WHOOOHOO! You can take total control of you life, no one else can. That is a daunting and wonderful responsibility at the same time. You have the power to help yourself and set an example for others.

If this (your life, your goals, your FITness, your dreams) is going to happen, its up to YOU and only YOU.

Do 3 very simple things by the end of this week before the thrill of the new year hoopla fades:

A- Make a least one GOAL for your FITness, personal and professional life in 2012 (you can do more:-) and why you want this to happen.
B- Make it public (perhaps posting to the comments). Holding it inside will allow you to talk yourself out of it because no else knows.
C- Have a plan. Get with your coach. Seek out successful people that have and/or are doing your goals and pick their brain. Map it out. SCHEDULE IT IN ADVANCE.

You have the power, what are you going to do about it?